Day 37: Saturday

I woke up early to referee two games...

I spent most of the day lounging around doing nothing. Around 5-ish I finally got together with a friend and we walked the bran spankin new sidewalks they just put in. I made sure to complain about how for four years i walked home through bumpy yards and huge dog poop piles and then once I no longer have to walk we get sidewalks...

We went to the park but there were too many people there so we left. Then we went to a friends house he wasn't home. So we went to someone else's house and she was home. So we joked around. Made her a facebook and then went home. I had fun though.

Day 36: A New Idea

Story Idea:

Some of us are lucky enough to live out our childhood the way we wanted. Some get to hold on to their youth. Some of us grow up...

Some of us grow up through the realities of life...
The realities of money...
The realities of being an adult...
The realities of loneliness...

But we look for the light in each other and even if that moment is a half an hour every weekend, it still means something. It is our way of holding on to what remains of our youth.

The sad fact of life is that were only beginning the transition for what is to come...
We are only freshmen...

Day 25-35

Adjustment. Reality. Exhaustion. Compromises. Happiness? What does it all mean?

Day 24: Saturday

I slept 10 hours today. I have soccer everyday plus homework and I wake up at 6am each morning. I don't get that much sleep. I also watched I Love You, Man and discovered how retarted Facebook can get. I am currently searching for Bartemus on YWS (YoungWritersSociety)

Day 23: Sept 11

May today be the day we all remember that the Unites States of America came together as part of her was being killed and her people knew there was nothing that could be done to stop the pain. 9/11 ... seven years later

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Friday. The football game was cancelled. Soccer practice was cancelled and so was the game for the following day.

Major storm. Cold out so teachers had windows open. My school has no ceiling since there putting the vent system in this year so we can have AC next year. Still hate english class.

Soccer party. It was a lot of fun but I look like crap in some of the pictures.... oh my god my mom just let one rip in the next room... and yet she's asleep... maybe it was the dog.

Day 22: Sept 10

Thursday. Really, really, really windy. Still had soccer practice. But my ACL leg is like old people's joints it feels weaker in bad weather. That and the fact I was sick and felt like I was gonna throw up made the coaches ask me to sit out for a bit.

Day 21: Sept 9

it was wednesday right? I chose to watch season finale of Leverage rather than watch Glee :(

Day 20: Sept 8

First day of High School. Um... talk bout hectic. I hate my english class, love my math class, don't understand why theres like no one I know in my classes. And we had a soccer game after school. We tied 1-1, but we should have won. Several people got hurt.

Day 19: Sept. 7

It was labor day. My family had a BBQ. I invited my two best friends over. One was going away for school and we wouldn't see her so my other friend and I made these goodbye videos. They came out to be so random and funny. The first video we had made the audio didn't work so I sped it up like 5x then added Bunny Hill music.

So after my BBQ we went to my friends house for her sisters birthday. I reminded her sister that I'd said the day before I'd be back for cake!!! We hung out til like 8:30 when we finally got melted ice cream cake. We said our goodbyes to our friend that was going away. I stayed til 9ish. I only got ice cream cake... there was cake from chuckie cheese but I didn't get to try it :(.

It was the last day of summer...

Day 18: Sept 6

Sunday... ugh what did I do oh I remember!!!

THis was a fun day. My friend invited me to go to the Wading River with her, which is basically a gigantic realistic lazy river. We were in the water for 2hrs. And it was freezing. It was fun. We left the adults behind and my friend, her sister, and I went ahead. We joked and got slighty hurt and nuts. Overall I had a great time. But by the end my teeth were chattering so loud people were starring.

We had to wait for the adults who had the car keys because we were locked out. Finally I asked someone "Have you seen two people and a cooler?" the guy was like um ya there pretty far down. So we stayed in the water at the end point then eventually got out and started walking along the path. Turns out the adults got tired and froze too so had gotten out of the water. One waited with the rafts while the other went back to get the car. We met half way and then walking back almost got ran over by a truck.

Best day of summer ever!

Day 17: Haha... ugh amazing day...

Today, I found myself bagging at Shoprite once again for another hour and a half. A lady thought I worked there and kept asking me to go get stuff for her from isles. She didn't get it that I was a volunteer.

Around 3ish my friend came over. We were making videos for another friend who is going away to Boarding School. By the time we were finished we had made over 25mins worth of videos. My friend went home early not feeling well. At the end of our final video I was summing things up and to make the end of it fun. I made a freak ass noise and moved really close to the camera with my tongue sticking out. Funniest thing ever!!!

She ended up having a co-ed sleepover with the person we were making the videos for and with another friend. He fell asleep before eleven.

I bugged my friend because she invited me to go to 'the river' tomorrow. Not knowing what that meant and having worry wart parents, I bugged her until she answered all my questions. I hate doing that, but my parents would kill me otherwise. Ugh...

I did manage to get one summer reading questions done. I'll probably redo it. And right now I'm curious what my dad is doing. He snuck back down stair, across the house, and is now on his computer. He has been on there for 15 minutes now. He also left the dog upstairs. I hope he chews stuff up...

Day 16: Friday

Was bagging at Shoprite for donations for soccer team for and hour and a half. My mom stayed as a chaperone with another parent. Old people don't like to make donations apparently... not all old people, but just saying.

Went to school at 3:45 to catch bus for scrimmage. JV scrimmage was cancelled since the other team didn't have enough players. Varsity still had a game. JV had practice til 4:15...

Day 15: Thursday

Watched a tv show online, read a bit. Had soccer at 7am... was excited for scrimmage on Friday...

Day 14: Wednesday

Soccer at 2:30... made myself an ankle bracelet.

Day 13: Tuesday

Soccer at 2:30 ... considered finishing summer reading questions, but didn't. Watched the mini-series Red VS. Blue online.

Day 12: Monday

Soccer practice at um ... when did i have it??? Oh no on Monday I went to watch a varsity scrimmage. I had fun hanging out with JV. The varsity team won 3-1.

Day 11: Sunday

Ugh.. I believe I started Milkweed. Read everything except for 40 pages. That was my day...

People with way to much time on there hands...

8 Bit Trip @ Yahoo! Video

Day 10: Summer Reading

This morning I finished Troy. I may seem heartless, but I didn't cry when Astyanax died. Oh by the way this isn't Troy like the movie Troy... this Troy is by Adele Geras. Anyway I had six questions I had to answer for the summer reading report. What I would do was right notes (handwritten) and then write out my response. Then I would type it on the computer and it would look completely different then what I wrote. I have the habit of self editing.

After finishing one question. I would go on Farm Town for a bit. Do like nothing for a half hour than work on another question. That was pretty much my whole day. When I finally finished and showed my mom this is what she said. (She didn't read it just looked at the papers). "Wow I didn't your responses to be so good." "They are good, right?" Do you see what I have to deal with. I work all day on something and then without even reading it, it gets shot down. Jeez. I still have one book, Milkweed, and the report for it todo. I'll start that tomorrow. The books bought 200 pages so it should be a easy read. Hopefully it is about the Holocaust after all.

Well, off to farm town... probably not. But I am getting over heated from my laptop.

Day 9: Friday

Oh boy. I had soccer at 7am but it was pouring and I only had one persons number and they weren't responded. Someone on facebook said they drove by and no one was there. I later found out they were in the weight room but left because they didn't have sneakers. I now have almost everyone on the team as a facebook friend and I have all there cell phone numbers. I won't miss any practices now, I also will know if any are cancelled.

I also learned that our Saturday's scrimmaged was cancelled. We were suppose to then have practice at 8am, but that got cancelled too.

I read to the end of Troy, well everything but the last 30 pages. It was past 12am.

Day 8: Thursday

I was excused from soccer practice since I had freshman orientation. Man that was boring and I don't like the people on my bus... The way there we had like 12 kids on the way back 3 and one was originally driven there.

I thought orientation was pointless. The map they gave us was two boxes will letters A-E on the sides. It took me two hours to figure out those were the hallways. Anyway the group I was in I didn't really know anyone. Like two people. One from soccer and one who I wasn't friends with.

Oh something I forgot to mention on Day 7's post. I went to see some of my old friends who were at band camp. I looked like crap from the scrimmage but oh well.

Day 7: Wednesday

Today we had a scrimmage. It was white vs blue. We basically split the soccer team in half (unevenly) and versed each other. The White Tighty Whitees VS Los Diablos Azules. White like spray painted under pants and had like capes while blue had a devil, three angels, and well a bunch of freaky people with mustaches. White won in penalty kicks. I was on blue... how disappointing.

I also went rowing in a single with my aunt. It was fun. We rowed pretty far down. It was rough and the wind was no help.

Day 6: Tuesday

Oh, Tuesday what did I do Tuesday. I'm gonna go with I spent the day on Farm Town and had soccer in the morning. Oh now I remember. I spent most of the day waiting to see if we would make shirts for a scrimmage the next day. :)

Day 5: Realization

Today, I constantly checked Facebook to see if others were in the same classes with me. This is what I found out. One friend has lunch and gym with me, an upperclassmen has Latin with me, and a person I know (and am not friends with) is in my English class. I also learned that one lucky person managed not to get himself in Math Lab 9. Yay...

It was also my parent's 28th Anniversary. My dad was in Pennsylvania helping out family while my mom ran errands at home. We had Papa Johns for dinner. A very depressing day. Also I ran out of money on Farm Town...

I did accomplish something I managed to get halfway through one of two summer reading books. Meanwhile in between I watched parts of the movie Eragon and the show Transformation: The Many Faces of Michael Jackson on TVGuide Network.

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We live life day by day. And I guess that means that we shouldn't have to worry about tomorrow, actually tomorrow hasn't even crossed our minds. We are focused on the moment, we are in the now. I wish that were so...

It's a hard time to grow up. My parent's theory is that by the time my generation is older and going out into the world things will be better. But today will make us more aware, more cautious of decisions and how we see the world for tomorrow.

Which makes me wish there was time set apart each year where everyone could agree, get along, and just relax. A 'do nothing day' but only for a week. A week without worries. A week without arguments. A week where money is not discussed. A week where anyone can be anyone. I sometimes long for this week especially now that summer is ending. I mentioned earlier about getting my schedule. Well, I don't want to go to a class alone. I want to know somebody, but my two closest friends won't be there.

There going down their own paths. Even though I am meeting new people already through sports everyone else has know each other since kindergarden. I was kind of always left out. The extra person. I lost my best friend to a person who once was my best friend. I reunited with another friend and made a new friendship along the way. This paragraph turned into how many time I could say friend I guess.

The point is there are times I wish I could escape. Times I wish that there was more time. Times I wish I wasn't being pressured; when information wasn't being shoved down my throat. And times when there was no such thing as disappointment, worry, and most importantly deadlines.

This all goes back to the fact that I should be reading 'Troy: A Novel" right now. Oh well, tomorrow's a new day I'll worry about it then and tonight I will dream of my week of peace with friends by my side.

Day 4: Saturday

The scrimmage was cancelled.

I played Farm Town on Facebook all day to try and relax. I ended up getting over heated from my laptop... Asked a friend how to reply to another friend's email. Got school schedule... I have study hall first period, not bad.

Day 3: Friday

Friday... more hectic than Thursday

I had soccer at 8AM then I walked to a class around 9:30AM. We received prizes for winning Bingo over the past week. I got a Laffy Taffy, a lollipop, an air head, and a some play-dough. I want to remind you all I am not five...

We also decorated our shirts for a scrimmage on Saturday that was to take place after our car wash fundraiser. Well, while were all at someone's house from like 3 to 7 it begins to storm and grows very dark. If you were near the beach you could say the clouds made it seem as if a tornado was coming... there wasn't.

On ride home it poured so hard that the wind sheilds couldn't keep up. Not to mention you could see the bolt of lightening flashing in the night sky. And I don't mean just the light I mean like actual streaking, Harry Potter lightening bolt! I also managed to hit a bush getting out of the car resulting in a really wet back.

Yup, they cancelled the car wash that night.

Day 2: Thursday

Sorry this is late...

Ah, Thursday. Let the 'hectic-ness' begin. As it August school is nearing, sports are in full pursuit, and I am really, really tired and stressed. *sigh* There's nothing more to tell, really.

Day 1: How it Hurts

Pain: defined as...

1.	physical suffering or distress, as due to injury, illness, etc.

2.	a distressing sensation in a particular part of the body: a back pain.

3.	mental or emotional suffering or torment: I am sorry my news causes you such pain.

Urban Dictionary's Definition of pain: What happens when you reach into the blender to dislodge a stuck ice cube without unplugging it first

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So what truly causes pain? I guess if it is an injury I have suffered a lot of pain over the last year. A distressing sensation, I assume is the same as and injury. Mental or emotional suffering or torment- that's something everyone gets everyday. It's what I hate most about life.

A little more then a year ago a major event in my life caused a change in the way I saw life. I blew out my knee... and for those of us who are going WTH does that mean, well I'll tell you. I tore my ACL, which is a ligament in you knee. It is a common injury among female players. Something to do with our hips (what's new). Well, I tore it. Six weeks later and tons of physical therapy I was ready for surgery.

Surgery! Scary, right? I slept through the whole thing. Like a baby. The three days that followed were the worst. I was condemned to sitting in a chair while watching a kid series (Avatar: The Last Airbender if you were wondering) that my family had bought me because the Direct TV box wasn't hooked up to the room I was stuck in. I had a huge brace which was not my size... a catheter... an ice machine... and one swollen knee. Oh and a lot of pain killers!

The next three weeks was spent in the oversized metal clunking brace while also doing physical therapy. Something I continued to do for the next six months.

That year I gave up a lot of things. But I guess you could say I had a lot of support. I wasn't aloud to play soccer. So I became like an assistant coach and I felt like I helped out the team as much as I could. The next season (basketball) I was able to play. But my coach who had torn his ACL so many time to a point where he barely had any ligament left would barely give me any playing time.

I was fortunate enough to play indoor traveling soccer and we won the division. Oh, and I forgot to mention that I wore a big brace (a different one then the one I wore after surgery) on my bad leg. (I also had to wear it to gym- the first day I wore it someone called me robo-leg) Next was softball and spring soccer. Again I was never the best at softball but I gave it my all. I'll always remember one practice where the coach was mad because we had done poorly in a game. He made us do insane running drills. I had reached my limits barely have way through. But it was a punishment for the team, and I was part of the team... so holding back tears I did my best and suffered with everyone else, refusing to give up.

Again traveling soccer. We came in 2nd... to last place. But in softball we went on to win the championship. I guess we were doing something right. That was the 2nd championship I had won wearing my brace.

That catches me up to this summer. I began rowing first for two weeks five times a week for an hour and 45 minutes. Then for four more weeks four times a week for an hour and 45 minutes. At the same time I was preparing for soccer. Participating in four practices a week, when I could sometimes rowing and soccer overlapped with each other.

This week is tryouts. Five days of hard core playing. I'm still wearing my brace, which does limit me in running and turning. I almost got it off but my doctor said he'd rather be safe then sorry and said I'll see you after the seasons over then we'll see about getting it off. As you can imagine...I was pissed.

Ok back to tryouts. First I want to say I wasn't aware that tryouts starts at 5:30 PM means tryouts start at 5:15 and if your not there on time that's one strike. (Well the strikes haven't been given out yet.) I also had a dentist appointment today which I drove straight to soccer making me get there at 5:35...yup I was late. And tomorrow I have another one, but this time I told the coaches that I was definitely going to be late. They said it was ok, so I hope it is.

The reason I explained all this is that I wanted you to get some idea of what I really want to talk about. In the last year I have encountered pain, disappointment, stress, and constant grouchiness (yes I admit it)... and all this while only being thirteen. Now I'm a year older, but things have changed. I have surgical scars on my knee... I feel pain when I pivot the wrong way... I've had to give up so many things... and somehow I found the nerve to keep going. To never give up. The only benefit of hurting my knee is now I know when it will rain.

Today at soccer we played 'Brazilian' style soccer. Meaning if you get the ball do some kind of fancy trick. I got the ball and was in scoring position so i tried to dribble past a couple upper-classmen. They went for the ball and my ankle of my bad leg got caught up with the ball and their legs, causing me to trip. A JR said be careful you don't want to hurt yourself you have rowing in the morning.

I know that she probably was just joking but a week ago she had made a comment about how I was cheating on 'texas getups' by using my hand to help me get up. I said well I can't bend my knee properly because of the brace so it's harder to get up. She said anything for you. I know, I know. I'm a puny freshman whose slow, has average soccer abilities, and wears a freaky brace. Well, I said it before I know my limits. That's why I didn't tryout for Varsity. I stuck with JV and Freshman team, and I've met a lot of nice people who really just want to play for the love of the game.

People don't always mean what they say. At least I hope they don't but still some should watch what they say. My knee may not be fully healed yet but I've worked hard to get to where I am and the fact that I'm able to play as well as I can now is due to hard work over the past year. I'm not perfect, I mean who is, but somethings hurt people in ways others can't understand. No one can compare to what I've been through unless they have had the same injury as me. So...

I'm here to say: I tore my ACL... I wear a freaky knee brace... I work through pain... And I keep going for the love of the game... And nothing is going to stop me.

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DAY 1: What causes pain in your life?